Almost every week I am going to a halachic Shiur given by Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz. The Rabbi speaks about a variety of Halachot and I really love his Shiurim. This week he was, among other subjects, asking the question whether a child should bathe or take his parent to the bathroom. This is regarding a parent who needs special care at an advanced age.
When a parent is not suffering from Alzheimer and doesn’t know what is going on around him, a child should not take his parent to the bathroom or bathe him. A person from the outside, a professional caretaker, should rather carry out this job.
If a parent is very old and unable to take care of himself and a child is helping bathing or with the bathroom, it is very hard and embarrassing for both sides. Who wants to see his parent in the bathing tube or bathroom ? On the other hand, it is not easy for the parent either but a very difficult situation. When the Rabbi said that a caretaker should be involved he stressed that the parent should keep his dignity. There is more concern about the parent being ashamed than the child. An outsider carrying out the job would preserve the parent’s dignity.