May I ask why is it “extreme” when an outsider puts on the clothing but not a person born into that sect? And why are baalei teshuvas seen as weirdos by chasidim (maybe not all of them)?
A born Chassid not putting on the clothes of his group is, in most cases, someone off – the – derech. Its actually quite funny because I once knew a born Belzer who had switched to Chabad. On weekdays, he wore Chabad clothes and on Shabbat he was Belz.
Why are Ba’alei Teshuva seen as weirdos by many Chassidim ?
I cannot provide a general answer for you because it really really depends on the person. On the Ba’al Teshuva himself or herself. In depends on someone’s behaviour and whether he is considered to be normal. 🙂
Well, what does this mean “normal” ?
Let me tell you what I did: First of all, I never pretended to be super frum, as other Ba’alei Teshuva did. Lets just say “I didn’t make a show.” When I go somewhere, I am, more or less, myself. I am not telling anybody born chassidic that I am totally frum and perfect.
The second thing I do is not to squeeze myself into any society by force. I am not calling other Chassidim all the time and go on their nerves. I still stick to my own opinions even though I may not be too popular by doing that.
I have seen many Ba’alei Teshuva who were honestly interested in Chassidut but were just overdoing it. They tried to be so terribly holy, perfect and were creeping in front of everyone else. My advice: Don’t play games and don’t make a show ! People are not stupid and just feel if someone is telling the truth or not.
Why many Ba’alei Teshuva are thought of as weirdos ? Because they try to be holier than anyone else and thus go on everyone else’s nerves.
However, the reason why born Haredim don’t necessarily want a Ba’al Teshuva as a spouse for their child has to do with Taharat Ha’Mishpacha reasons and not always because someone is newly religious.